Tuesday, June 12, 2007


Blinded by the curiosity
Yet I am too afraid to open my eyes to look
And I’ve closed my ears to block out the words
Just to protect myself incase the truth is something bad.

And so I sit and fester.
Wandering around in my own dark life.
Never finishing anything.

Maybe I’m afraid of the outcome
Or I’m too lazy to do the work.
It’s got to be that.
What else can it be?

I have to stop looking to you for all my answers,
I have to stop expecting perfection from you.
You are a human being.
And I’m sure that your weary soul cannot take much more of my bull shit.

18 April 2000 5:56pm

delicate and tender

I am a rose.
Delicate and tender.
Deep and special.
Many facets.
Many faces.

Tear away what I am not.
The hard cold coat that I carry,
Is not me.
I am hiding beneath it from years ago.

And since then I have let myself go.
Mentally and physically
And I regret every minute
And one should never regret anything.

18 April 2000 6:00pm


The sun is shining bright today
And I am feeling free.
My strength is leading me forward
And I feel myself progressing.
I feel the happiness inside of me
And I can see my life moving forward.

No longer will this soul be stagnate.
No longer will this heart cry for what was left behind.
Because the future holds so much more.
And I want what lies ahead
More than anything else in life.

Because it is life.

12 July 2000 10:44pm


You are all I’ll ever want.
You are all I’ll ever need.
You are the only man I will ever love.

With you I have everything
That a heart could ever ask for.
You give me the world.
And make me happy.

And my life wouldn’t be complete
If I couldn’t share it with you.

I will always love you.

5 July 2000
Where has my soul gone?
All I have inside is tears.
So that is why I always fall.

Too caught up in the romance.
Too caught up in the fairy tale is more like it.

My mind wants to fly
My mind wants to run
But not in reality
But in my dreams.

That’s where I always long to be.

And I want to take you with me
And I want you to see the real me
And I want our life together to be perfect and free.

You, so technical.
Me, so simple.



This springtime
With new arrivals
I feel the newness
Touching me.

I breathe it in,
Taste its sweetness
And plant it’s
Seed in my

Loving it.
Nurturing it
It becomes more
Than just a thought.

It becomes who I am
And it reflects in those
Around me.

Through smiles
And words.
It fills the air

And continues to
Travel for miles
Until it’s time
For it to rest
Till next year.

18 April 2000 5:50pm


The stillness of this night
The wind whispers softly to me the stories of what used to be.
Of men and heroes who camped beneath the boughs of these trees.

Only bits and pieces are decipherable for the wind moves quickly.
Each breeze, a different voice, a different story.

I feel the breeze and I take it within me.
To be released on another day, to another person.
This breeze is my magic, for which I save for certain others
Who turn to me in times of need
To them I give my heart and soul.
To them I give my strength.
To them I teach patience.
And try to show them the way.

21 June 2000

For you my friend.

For you my friend.

For so long we grew apart.
For loves and lives challenged our friendship.
And at times we waned.
And grew apart, searching for someone to take the place of the other.

And for me, I know I was never satisfied.
For no one filled the place in my heart where you grew to be.

For I’ve found, that time heals all wounds.
And no one can ever replace a real best friend.

Once again found, I promise never to lose you again.
No matter where our lives may lead.

21 June 2000


Centering on myself
On happiness
That I need to find to exist
To life my life
The way that I am supposed to.

To be comfortable with myself
And take pride in who I am
That is what I need to do.

I cannot ignore the demons living inside my mind any longer.
I must face them.

I have this time now.
I need to use these daylight hours wisely.
I need to use it concentrating on me.

18 April 2000 5:35pm

3000 Miles

3000 Miles

This feeling reaches down inside of me
and squeezes my heart so tightly.
My soul yearning to return to the place
where I set my heart and spirit free.
Each and everyday I find myself day dreaming
of being there once again.
I want to go back
and chase my shadow over the hills.
Sit below the trees in the woods
and dream my day away.
My magical place where poets once pondered
and wrote from the heart their inspired works.
And I too, felt what they felt.
Though they are long dead,
I know the secret of their inspiration.
I saw through their eyes.
For the woods are filled with faeries and spirits.
They must be.
Those spirits whispering in their ears,
coaxing them to write down the magical experience.
Giving them the words to describe the magic so clearly.
And I miss those wonderful days
As I sit here, three thousand miles away.

(17 November 1998)

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Thinking of you

Thinking of you.

Feeling a little sad today,
and maybe somewhat lost.

Thinking that it was a year to the day
That you left this earth.

I know that you are still somewhat here,
Cause I often feel you near.

Either in a thought, a mood or on the breeze.
I know you're watching, I know you're part of me.

But I can't help, but shed a few tears.
And remember how much joy you brought me in my first 29 years.

d.m.t. 5.2.2005


the fire begins to burn
I feel it deep inside.
I will not be broken.
I will perservere.

Can't you see my eyes are not blind.
Even though they sometimes flood with tears.

I see
I feel
I know all.

The fires burn.
The hurt stings.
yet, I will not be broken.
My love still perserveres.
Can't you see, my love perserveres.




In the morning when we wake
always remember to breathe deep.
Take it in and let it out.

All day long, take in the world around you
But always remember to let your love drift out into it too.

In and out, back and forth
Ever gently.
Ever contant.

Patience. Strength. Love.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006


I have the strength of millions
I will perservere.
And break through
This wall of gloom and shadows
That I hve built up over the years.

They who believe in me are out there
Some silent, some vocal.
They're still on my side
Knowing all along, who I am

Even if I don't believe it... yet
Even if I don't see it.... yet

My strength will perservere.

6.10.2007 dmt

The Journey of Me

The Journey of Me

The darkness that I've blanketed myself with for so long
Is started to fray away.
My mind is slowly growing
And going in all directions at once.
And I feel as if the light within is breaking through.

I'm fumbling for the key to my cell.
I'm on the verge of escaping.
And beginning a journey that I should have started long ago.

The journey of me.

The rainbow within, the colors flowing freely.
The beautiful rainbow soul,
Shall be free. Shall be strong.
Shall once and for all be allowed to breath.

And I will truly be me.

May 15, 2003

My Cell

My Cell

Stuck in this room, a cell that I've created.
No doors that I can see, I am a prisoner here.
This is my bland world.

My walls are grey
And the room is empty
And even though I see the colors of the world
My grey heart drowns them out.

A black cloud always blocking out the sun.
And rain always washing away the colorful chalk scenes
Scenes of my life
Of what could be
If only I spread my wings
If only I shed these chains

But these scenes quickly get washed away
As I sit and stare mindlessly at the wall.
Feeling empty, detached, alone
Wathing the the same hypnotizing movie, as life slips away

And all I have to do is break out of these shakles
Reach out and touch life
And then the greyness will fadeaway
Only to be replaced by a rainbow soul.

17 July 2002

The Mirrors Image

The Mirrors Image

Staring at myself in the mirror
The mirror image staring back at me.
The person that I see, I can hardly believe is me.
I look at her features and her story-book eyes
She is amazing.
She is beautiful.
This woman.
Is so much to me.
She brings me through each and every day.
She is herself.
She is fake in no way.
The strength of her heart spill out of her eyes.
She stands up and strides on.
With only a blink of an eye.



Patience my heart
Just a little longer
Hold on, be still
Control your lifetime, if you will.

Wait, hold on, yet still reach out.
Never give up
Because time doesn't hold out.

More inspiration is coming soon.
To bring me higher
And bring me light

Across mountains and streams
And glens and forests
The spirits of old will speak to me once more.
Oh how I wish that the time there was longer.
Just enjoy every moment,
Every step
Be happy and let my heart free.

5 August 1999

Full of Life

Full of Life

Stronger than you'll ever know.
This person inside of me grows and goes on further every day.
Do you think you can hold onto this spirit?
Strong, ever-reaching towards the sky.

I am full of life, and my smile sheds rays of sunlight.
Can I take your hand and lead you the rest of the way?
Journey on till all the darkness of the past is no more?
Till we reach our final destination,
And grasp onto each other and forever become one.

23 January 1999



My heart is going to explode
And tears will rain everywhere
Happiness and pain all at once
Breaking down and feeling every emotion

Lately life has been whispering in my ear
Trying to tell me a secret
I can see it's lips moving
And I lean in and try to understand
And yet I still can't seem to hear it

Life is trying to tell me something about it 'self
It's trying to teach me a lesson
In it's age old philosophic ways
Wondering if I can still be taught this way.

Through showing me phases of birth and death
And that little by little the pieces fall together
Just as they used to

Do they all have reasons as they used to?
Did I just come full circle?
Is it time to start a new one?

Yes, new circle. New life.
New spirit ..moving on.

22 February 1999



Inspiration from within
You build me up
You bring me in
You shine a light
To lead the way
And show me to another day
Another light
Another world
Another self
So strong and true
The future lies in front of me
You open my eyes and make me see.

26 August 1998



I'm free, so very free.
No longer shall your words keep me here.
For I'm a bird flying on my own.
With two strong wings and blue skies for miles.
Join me if you wish,
But this time you must keep up with me.
I refuse to go back.

I'm not going down any longer
Only one way to go and that is up.


The Woman Within

The Woman Within

Eyes wide open, staring at the sky
Fingers out stretched, touching every cloud that floats by.

Breathing in the air, teach myself to speak,
A language lying deep within me, is what I seek.

It is a language of a woman
So strong, so gentle, so kind.

The language of a woman crying out to be released.

She longs to see the sunshine and touch the powder white clouds.
To feel the grass between her toes and speak her language out loud.

But the night rolls in quickly, turning every white could gray.
Leaving the woman within, no time to have her say.

And in the dark of the night I hear her continuous plea.
And I swear to myself by morning, that woman I shall be.

14 August 1996